Heartbroken

My heart is heavy and broken tonight as I sit here weeping over the loss of a wonderful, beautiful, vibrant young life who had such a bright and promising future ahead of her.

I recently met sweet Aimee through my support group, "Girls with Guts", which is a group exclusively for young women who battle Crohn's disease, colitis or any other type of IBD.  We gather once a month in Nashville to share stories of our struggles, our triumphs and above all to just encourage and uplift one another.  We are all (unfortunately) bonded in a way that those who do not suffer from our diseases can possibly understand.  We are a sisterhood, not by our own choice, but by the Lord's choosing.  For whatever reason He laid these burdens on each of us, I am thankful that I have such a wonderful group of friends who can laugh with me, cry with me and understand the daily struggles of a life lived with this awful disease.  

Aimee and I had an even more unique bond, in that we also both suffer from PSC, which is a very rare form of liver disease that affects a small percentage of those with Crohn's.  (As if just having Crohn's wasn't bad enough!)  Like Crohn's, there is no cure for PSC and in nearly every case, the end result is a liver transplant.  I had never met anyone else who suffered from PSC, so I was immediately drawn to Aimee and through the magic of Facebook, we were able to bond even further by sharing our experiences and encouraging one another.  We even have many of the same doctors at Vanderbilt and have had a lot of the same procedures done.  It was neat to compare stories and very comforting to be reminded that I am not the only one out there who is going through this.  Aimee was an incredible woman of faith, and her love for Jesus and others was evident in everything she said and did.  That, of course, also quickly drew me to her.  Her zest for life was infectious and from the outside looking in, you would never know she struggled with these awful diseases.

Aimee was 20 years old, a college student, who was being told by her doctors at Vanderbilt that she needed to have the same surgery I did (a total colectomy) in order to regain her health.  She shared with us at our last meeting that although she knew the surgery was necessary, she was putting it off until she could get married and have a family someday.  Those were her exact words to us, just a few weeks ago.  

Sadly, those dreams of marriage and a family will never come to pass for sweet Aimee, as she was taken unexpectedly from us this morning, due to unforeseen complications with her health.  I am still unclear on all of the details, but I have been told that she was found unresponsive by her sister, and even though EMS was called, they could not revive her.  20 years old.  How can I even begin to wrap my mind around this?  I realize people die from Crohn's and PSC all the time, but I've never actually known someone who did.  It just really put things into perspective for me.  I was reminded of the frailty of life and how we are here but for a moment.  The Bible says in James that our lives are like a vapor, here one moment and gone the next.  How true this is.

I rejoice in knowing that Aimee is dancing with Jesus and resting PAIN FREE in His arms!  She is free of her struggles and she will never know pain or suffering again.  I take great comfort in that and in knowing that her life was an awesome testimony of HIS faithfulness.  Even in the short time that I knew her, I was inspired by her unwavering faith even in the midst of incredible struggles.

The beautiful Aimee

You would never even know she was sick

This is Aimee's cover photo on her Facebook page.  One of my favorite verses of all time, but it's now sort of haunting in a way.  Truly, the Lord really did have a wonderful plan for her life.  Though it was short, she lived it for Him.  Her hope was in Him and her future is now with Him.  

I've spent the entire afternoon kissing, hugging, cuddling and playing with my precious daughter and telling her over and over again how much I love her.  I reminded her that I will always love her, no matter what happens.  She knows that Mommy is very sick, but she has no idea the magnitude of it all.  Unfortunately, I do and I am now vowing to live my life with more purpose and passion than ever before.  I don't want to take one day, one minute, one second for granted.  

I will be traveling to Aimee's hometown to meet up with my fellow support group sisters to attend Aimee's funeral and to celebrate her beautiful life along with many others who loved her.  Though I only knew her for a short while, I am blessed and thankful to have known her.  Many prayers for her family and especially for her boyfriend, who must be incredibly grieved by the loss of his precious Aimee.

This is the only picture that I have of me and sweet Aimee, but I will treasure it always. She will continue to be a special part of our elite sisterhood as her sweet spirit lives on through each of us. We will keep fighting, until there is a cure....for Aimee!