My Journey to a Miracle--Part 1

Where were you on September 15th, 2014?  You probably have no idea.  You probably don't know what you were wearing or how you were feeling or even what day of the week that was.  I can tell you all of these things.  It was a Monday afternoon and  I was driving my 3 year old daughter to her ballet class here in Jackson.  We were less than 5 minutes away when my cell phone rang and the caller ID showed "Blocked Call".  It was 3:40 p.m. My heart sank and immediately I knew exactly who was calling.  I had received this same call twice before, and I wasn't ready for another false alarm.  With hesitation in my voice I said "hello?"  On the other end of the line was the same sweet voice I had heard before.

(You can read about my two previous calls for transplant HERE and HERE)

"Mrs. Hughes, this is Molly from liver transplant.  I have good news--we have an offer for a liver for you!"

I responded with a very unenthusiastic "Oh.....hey Molly".  (It was hard to get excited knowing this could very well end the same way the other two offers did.)

"So.....what do I need to do?"  I bluntly asked, and waited with bated breath for her answer.

"Don't eat or drink anything else and get to Vanderbilt as fast as you possibly can", she said.

"Go straight to central registration and tell them who you are and they will be expecting you."

I hung up the phone and told Kyndall we were no longer going to dance class and that I was turning the car around to go back home.  I explained to her that it was time for me to go to the hospital to get my new liver.  We had been very open with her about the entire process so she knew exactly what this meant.  When I told her the news, her eyes lit up and she said "Mommy.....this means we can go to Disney World!!"  Ha! We've been promising her for over a year that as soon as Mommy got her new liver and was free to travel, we would take her on her very first trip to Disney.  So naturally in her little 3 year old mind this was the most exciting part of it all.

Next I called Matthew and told him what was going on.  He quickly left work, stopping quickly to gas up his car and then came straight home.  I called Mrs. Pam Burleson, who was our on-call person for Kyndall.  I told her what was going on and that I would be dropping Kyndall off within the hour.  I quickly grabbed my bags which had been packed and neatly sitting in the corner of my bedroom for 7 months.  I had kept them packed and ready since the day I found out I was on the transplant list.  I did a few things around the house while I waited for Matthew to make it home.  My OCD personality couldn't leave my house anything but perfect since I knew it might be several weeks before I returned.  I needed things to be neat and orderly for whoever would be coming in and taking over my home while I was away.  I laid the "handbook" I had put together on the counter which had detailed instructions on everything from how to set our house alarm to what days Kyndall's tuition was due and everything in between.  Things were ready to go.  At this point I think I had texted my Mom and my Mother-in-Law but that was it.  I just didn't have time to tell anyone else and I was also hesitant to do so, considering my track record for getting everyone all excited only to let them down.

 Matthew got home and threw a few things in a suitcase and we headed towards the Burlesons' house.  I wasn't as emotional dropping Kyndall off this time and I didn't even cry.  In the back of my mind I really thought I would be coming back to get her in just a few hours.  I was slightly jaded from my past experiences.  She was happy to see that Mrs. Pam's granddaughter Riley was there and as soon as I kissed her goodbye she went running off to play.  That was a blessing!

Later that evening I got this picture from Mrs. Pam of Kyndall and Riley eating dinner at K's favorite restaurant, Snappy Tomatoes.  Seeing how happy and carefree she looked made me feel so much better.

Once we finally got on the road to Nashville it was after 5:00 p.m.  We had cut our "getting out of the house" time down by quite a but we still had a long drive ahead of us.  Matthew definitely put his driving skills to the test as he drove very fast in less than ideal conditions.

I decided that I might as well let everyone know what was going on so that they could begin praying.  I sent out a few text messages to close friends and then put a post up on Facebook.  Immediately I began getting calls, texts and FB messages from people saying they were lifting me up in prayer.  This brought me so much comfort just knowing that there were prayer warriors out there petitioning the Lord on my behalf.  I was so peaceful, not scared in the least.  It was such a change from the previous times when I was literally begging Matthew to turn the car around and take me back home.  This time it's as if my heart just knew that everything was going to be okay.  I had an unexplainable peace.  The Bible says in Isaiah 26:3 that "He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on Thee."

I talked to my parents and my in-laws and told them the decision was theirs---they could either go ahead and get on the road or they could wait and see what happened.  Either way I knew there was probably no possible way they could make it to Nashville before they took me back for surgery anyway.  They decided to give it a little time and see what happened once I got there.

We finally made it to Vanderbilt and Matthew drove me straight to the front door where I jumped out of the car and went running inside while he dealt with valet.  Unlike last time, I didn't go in and throw myself at the poor receptionist crying uncontrollably (ha!) but instead calmly walked into central registration and told them my name and that I had been called for transplant.  They slapped an armband on me and took me straight upstairs to the 7th floor of the critical care tower and into a room.  As soon as I sat down on the bed I was surrounded by nurses and residents, each of them wanting to ask me a question, give me an instruction, stick me with some kind of sharp object or attach a monitor to me!  It was a little overwhelming to say the least.  They wasted NO time!

Just like the before, they started an IV, drew blood, did an EKG of my heart and then sent me downstairs to have a chest x-ray.  While waiting for the results of all of that to come back they also had me shower with a special antibacterial body wash to prep my skin for surgery.  (I also took opportunity to shave my legs! Haha!!)  Doctors and residents and nurses continued to come in and out of my room for several hours going over paper work (soooo much paperwork!) and asking me questions.  Everyone was so nice and so helpful and I remained calm and peaceful the entire time.  I was in constant communication with my family and each time I got an update from the doctors I would update my family.  It wasn't long before they decided to just go ahead and get on the road to Nashville.  We still didn't have much information about a time for surgery or even whether or not the organ was good, but they decided to go ahead and make the trip.  My sister and newborn nephew even packed up and rode with my parents.  Secretly, I was so glad they were on their way and that they didn't wait any longer.  I knew I wouldn't see them before going back for surgery which was a strange feeling.

Everything was very top secret regarding the organ.  I didn't know anything about the donor--not their age, their gender or what happened to them.  They wouldn't even tell me what state the liver was coming from.  At one point Dr. Gorden came in and introduced himself and told me he would be my primary surgeon who would be getting on the jet and flying to procure the organ.  I remember thinking he was very handsome and very kind.  He was one of those doctors who really seemed to care for his patients.  He wasn't afraid to put his hand on my shoulder and tell me everything was going to be alright.  Despite the fact that he did this type of thing day after day, he had not forgotten the fact that I had never done it and that I needed all of the comfort and reassurance I could get.  He answered a few questions for me and told me to just relax and try to get some rest.  It would still be several hours before they returned with the liver, assuming it was healthy and able to be used.  They wouldn't know this for sure until Dr. Gorden opened up the donor and put his hands on the liver.

I remember being so hungry and thirsty but they wouldn't let me have anything--not even ice chips.  Nurses continued to come in and check on me and they told me there was a delay with the surgeon flying out because there was a delay with the donor.  At this point I thought it was over and that I would most likely be going home.  They didn't tell me what the issue was but just that there was a delay.  They promised to let me know when the surgeon boarded the jet.

Sure enough, around 10:00 p.m. I was notified that Dr. Gorden had just flown out and that we would soon have word about the condition of the organ.  They encouraged me to sleep and rest but who could do that in a situation like this??

Here are a few pictures from our time leading up to this point....

Signing my life away, literally!

Spending some time together before the biggest event of my life took place

He was the keeper of my purse and all things important that night

Trying to turn off my mind and just rest.  Easier said than done!

Throughout the night I received many encouraging messages from friends and family.  So many that I couldn't even keep up with them all.  Here are a few of the sweet things people posted on my Facebook page to remind me that I was being covered in prayer....

 Everywhere I looked on social media I saw people posting the pink and green "AAKH" picture in my honor.  My newsfeed was full of my favorite colors and my name.  How could I doubt that I was being thought of and prayed for after seeing all of that?  I have never felt so loved in my entire life.  THANK YOU!

Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning I finally drifted off to sleep in my hospital bed.  Matthew was asleep on the pull out couch.  Without any notice at all at 3:00 a.m. a nurse came bursting through the door and told me to wake up and get ready, that the organ looked good so far and I needed to be prepped for surgery.  This is the exact moment that I started to feel the panic and fear set in.  I had been completely calm until that point.  I think it had something to do with not having any prior notice and not being fully prepared.  In my mind I thought I still had several hours before I would have to start the prep.  And, I still wasn't fully convinced that it was going to happen.  It was at this point that things got very REAL.  VERY.

I jumped up, gathered my things and handed them to Matthew.  I let my parents know what was going on and they told me that they were still several hours away from Nashville.  This too made me feel a little more uneasy.  I knew all along that they wouldn't make it in time but now I was facing that reality.  The thought of not having a "proper" goodbye (should something happen to me) just seemed unsettling.  But, there was nothing I could do about it so I told them I loved them and that I would see them in the morning.

Pretty soon a transporter came and got me and escorted me (in my hospital bed, still hooked up to monitors and IVs) down to the OR prep area.  Here's a picture that Matthew took just as I was getting on the elevator to go down from the 7th floor.  Smiling on the outside but totally freaking out on the inside!

I was told that I would be prepped completely, with the exception of making the first cut.  They wouldn't do that until the organ was in house, in the same room with me and ready to be transplanted.  I had heard stories of people getting all the way to the operating table only to be sent back home because something unexpected happened to the organ.  So, I was still unsure at this point what would happen but I felt pretty confident that it was a go!

They took my vital signs, started an additional IV, I had a lengthy consult with the anesthesia team and then we waited.....

This is the last picture that I have of me with my old liver.  What had been in my body since my conception was about to be replaced with a stranger's gift.

A member of the surgical team came into the bay and told me the liver had just arrived and that it was healthy and my transplant was definitely ON!  (Cue the crazy emotions)  He told me that the liver was on ice in a cooler just waiting for me.  

This is when my head started spinning.  All of the "what ifs" and other scary thoughts started flooding my mind.  I thought about Kyndall and I thought about my parents and I worried what they would do if I didn't wake up.  I had gone through all of these emotions many times before, but it was all very real at this point and this was actually about to happen.  I felt sorry for Matthew, knowing he would be sitting in that waiting room for many hours all alone.  Nobody should ever have to sit in such an uncertain condition by themselves.  But, there was nothing I could do.  It was the middle of the night and our family had not arrived yet.  Our friends were two hours away in Jackson.  He would have to do this alone.  I wondered who would comfort him if the surgeon had to come out and deliver bad news?  How would he face that alone?  

I didn't have much time to think about it because at 4:05 a.m. on September 16th, I kissed my beloved goodbye and I was wheeled out of the bay, down the hall and into the operating room.  The anesthesiologist was among the ones who helped take me to the OR.  As reality set in, my body started to shake and tremble in fear and I started to cry.  It wasn't an uncontrollable sob, but it was enough that my anesthesiologist noticed and asked me what was wrong.  I told him "I'm just overwhelmed".  I was overwhelmed with fear, with joy, with thanksgiving, with sadness and with uncertainty.  You name it, I felt it in that moment.  It was like a scene from a movie.  I just couldn't believe this was really happening.  As we were still on our way to the OR he told me he was going to give me some versed to make me sleepy and thus calm me down a bit.  As soon as it hit my IV I felt it.  I know that feeling so well.  Things got fuzzy and my body felt warm and tingly.  It sounded as if people were talking and moving in slow motion and my eyes began to feel heavy.  I remember seeing the bright lights of the operating room and being transferred from my bed to the operating table by way of them lifting me on a sheet.  They put oxygen on me and told me to take deep breaths and let the medicine take effect.  Eventually my eyes got too heavy to fight the medication any longer and I drifted off into a deep sleep.  

Matthew snapped this picture of the clock just after kissing me goodbye

4:05 a.m.

This digital "white board" is how they kept Matthew up to date on how my surgery was progressing.  As you can see, I was the only patient in the OR at this time of the morning.  Normally this board is filled with names and hundreds of eyes watch it for updates of their loved ones.  Matthew tells me he was the only one in the entire waiting room.  I just can't imagine how lonely he must have felt.  It makes me sad to even think of it.  They estimated that my surgery would last around 6 hours, which is why it says 10:00 under my name.  As time went on my status would change from "getting ready for surgery" to "progressing well" and other things that let Matthew know everything was going as expected.  My favorite part is the very bottom, where it says "have a nice day" =)

This is a picture of one of my two surgeons, Dr. Wright, as he performs a liver transplant.  I don't know for sure, but because of the date this picture was published I have reason to believe this could be me he's looking at.....

At 10:15 a.m. Matthew got a call on his cell phone telling him that my surgery was complete and that my surgeon wanted to talk with him.  He went back up to the OR and was taken into a conference room where Dr. Gorden delivered the good news.  My surgery had gone as well as it possibly could have and I was stable and doing great.  At this point I was still unconscious and intubated and it would be a little while before they let Matthew see me.  Dr. Gorden told Matthew that I did so well that I didn't even need a blood transfusion.  That's very atypical for transplants and most patients need several units of blood.  They "recycled" my own blood and essentially "washed" it and put it back into my body.  This gives the body more oxygen and in the long run helps you bounce back and recover faster.

Once Matthew's consult with Dr. Gorden was over he was told to go to the 9th floor (the surgical ICU) and I would be delivered to my room shortly.

My miracle had happened and now the hard part was to begin---the recovery.  As I would soon find out, my journey was far from over and the worst was definitely yet to come!