We've Been Keeping a Secret....

Our family has some news we would like to share.  We've been keeping a pretty big secret for a pretty long time.  I'll let Kyndall tell you.....

In case you couldn't read her shirt.....

That's probably not the announcement you were expecting and believe me, we weren't expecting it either.  

So, in a nutshell--Our family is moving to Dallas, Texas.  We will be relocating in the next few weeks.

Backing up, let me explain how all of this came to be.  Way back in October Matthew was presented with an opportunity for a very prestigious promotion within his company.  He was told that Southeastern Freight Lines would be opening a new facility in Garland, Texas and they wanted him to start thinking about interviewing for the job.  It was a huge honor to even be considered for such a position.  Again, this was 8 months ago all the way back in October.  The hard part was we weren't allowed to say anything since it wasn't official and he still had to go through the interview process and be chosen.  But, he was excited and honored about the possibility.  I will be honest and say I was NOT excited about it.  I was in fact devastated and angry and very hurt.  I couldn't imagine leaving this town that we love so much and the people that have been so very good to us.  Not to mention all of my needs at Vanderbilt.  The thought of ever leaving Jackson brought me to tears and I couldn't even talk about it.  Matthew told me to just put it in the back of my mind until time for the interview process and as much as I tried to do that, it was nearly impossible.  I have felt very, very sad ever since October.  

We went on with life, registering for kindergarten here, making commitments at church, signing up for dance classes and making plans as if we would be here forever--because again, nothing was for sure.  But in my heart I felt an impending sense of doom.  It was difficult for me to get excited about things because I felt like I was only setting myself up for disappointment since there was a good chance we wouldn't be here anyway.  That has been hard.

About two weeks ago, right in the middle of my liver rejection episode and all of the other craziness that was going on they decided to conduct the interviews in Dallas.  Finally the time had come for some answers but the timing couldn't have been worse.  I was in the middle of a serious health crisis but Matthew needed to be in Dallas to interview.  In fact, the day of my very first infusion at Vanderbilt was also the very same day he interviewed for the job.  It was a lot to think about all at once.  I felt like the weight of the world was on my (our) shoulders with all that was going on.  I really wanted to just run away and hide until it all went away. 

Last Wednesday he was told that of the candidates that they interviewed, he was their pick.  He was officially offered the job and he accepted.  When he called from Dallas to tell me the news, I felt like someone stuck a dagger straight through my heart.  I wanted to cry and scream and throw myself on the floor in protest.  But, I also needed to be excited for my husband and support him in this decision.  This is a HUGE honor and it has been a delicate balance between being proud and excited for him but also very brokenhearted for our family as a whole.  Bittersweet is really the only word I can use to describe it.

The past week has been an absolute whirlwind.  We are in a serious time crunch in order to get out to Texas before school starts.  With Kyndall starting kindergarten this year, it's important to me to be out there as soon as possible so that we can get settled and acquainted before she begins this new chapter.  Kindergarten alone is going to be a whole new world for us but now we have the added challenge of starting it in a new town and unfamiliar territory.  So things need to move quickly.  In order to do that, we officially listed our house yesterday and we already had one person come look at it last night.  It breaks my heart to think of leaving the first home we've ever owned where we've made SO many wonderful memories but the reality is we need to sell it as fast as possible.  I told our realtor they may have to sedate me at closing because I am likely to be that emotional.  

We are hoping to be in our new home in the Dallas area around the first week of August.  We already have a few trips planned to go out there and do some house hunting.  The first one is coming up next week so things are moving along rapidly.  Thankfully, Matthew's company will pay packers and movers to come move us from Tennessee to Texas.  At least that's one less burden to have to worry about.  They did this for us when we moved here from Charleston and it was the best thing ever!  I didn't pack a single box.

Kyndall has known about all of this since the very beginning but was sworn to secrecy.  She's done a pretty good job of keeping it quiet for the past 8 months but it was really hard when people would say things like "where will you be going to school next year?" or "maybe our kids will be in the same kindergarten class".  I can't tell you how many times I gave her a swift elbow in the side when I thought she might be piping up to say something about Texas!  We sat her down last Saturday and told her the news.  She was just as sad as I was.  She asked about her friends and dance class and this house.  I let Matthew do all the talking because I knew I'd lose it if I even tried.  He assured her that we would enroll her in dance and piano and cheerleading and all of the same activities she loves here and he told her she could even help us pick out our new house.  He told her she'll make lots of new friends because she is so friendly and outgoing.  I think she felt better by the end of their talk, but she still gets teary when she talks about leaving her friends.  Oh and packing up our pictures and taking the photos off the fridge in order to stage our house completely threw her into a tailspin.  It's the little things that are hardest.  It breaks my heart.

As always, I've tried very hard to find the silver linings in all of this.  I know that Matthew would never lead our family in a direction that wasn't wise and I trust him to make the right decision.  He's prayed about this move and feels it's what's best for our future and our family as a whole.  That's hard for me to see right now but I am trusting him and trusting the Lord to continue to guide us as we navigate this through new adventure.  I am extremely proud of my husband and how hard he works to provide for our family.  All I've ever wanted to do my entire life was be a stay-home-mom and wife.  His hard work and dedication to his job have allowed me to do that.  I am so grateful to be doing what I love.  Sometimes that comes with sacrifices and compromises and this is one of those times.  Lord knows he has surely sacrificed for me a LOT over the course of our marriage.  The past couple of years have been all about me, me, me.  Now it's his time to shine and to do something that's important to him.  As hard as it is, I will support him in that.  

I have several friends who live in Texas including my best friend Glory, my friend Jennifer (who was just here a few weeks ago helping take care of me) and my friend Ashlie who just happens to have moved from Jackson earlier this year to the very same town we are moving to.  Not only that, she's also my fellow liver transplant buddy.  As much as it breaks my heart to imagine leaving all of our Jackson friends, I am thankful that I have these three out there to help ease the sting of saying goodbye to the ones I love here.  The friends we've made in Jackson are more like family.  Because of all that's happened over our three years in Jackson, we have made some of the most loyal, amazing, lifelong friends that have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus to us.  I know I will never again find friends like the ones God gave us here for such a time as this.  I truly don't know how we would have survived without them.  I also know that God is faithful and He will send us new friends in Texas that we will grow to know and love.  But even still, none of them will hold a candle to the bonds we've created here.  For that reason, I am refusing to say "goodbye"....only "see you soon".  I will without a doubt be vising Jackson as often as possible.

That leads me to my next thought, which is Vanderbilt.  How in the world would I ever make it without them?  When Matthew first told me about this possibility back in October, the very first words out of my mouth were "what about my doctors?"  If you've ever been chronically ill, you can fully understand the sheer panic that shot through my brain as I thought about starting over with a new team.  The very next day I sent an email to all of my doctors explaining the possibility and asking them if they would be willing to keep me as a patient.  I told them I would gladly travel back and forth from Dallas to Nashville for appointments and procedures as long as they would agree to monitor me long distance.  I'm pretty sure they thought I was crazy but they agreed and said they would be happy to continue taking care of me.  This probably sounds extreme but my loyalty to Vanderbilt runs deep.  They've been so good to me and have proven themselves over and over.  I have a lot of history at Vanderbilt in a short amount of time.  I can't imagine getting care anywhere else. So, I will continue to be a patient and will simply drive or fly back and forth as needed.  Hopefully that won't be too often since until recently I've been doing pretty well.  These last few weeks have been a little abnormal with the sudden rejection episode but I'm praying that will all resolve very soon.  

There are so many moving parts to this crazy puzzle and so many things to get done in a very short amount of time.  Maybe this is a good thing because it doesn't give me much time to sit around and be sad.  I have definitely had my moments of complete break down and they usually hit me at random times.  Weird things set me off and the sadness just takes over.  I can't even think about our last Sunday at church or our last night in this home.  Those things will undoubtedly be the hardest.  I've never loved a town as much as I love Jackson/Medina.  I thought we would live here forever.  I wanted to live here forever.  We have a GOOD life here.  A great life!!  It's hard for me to imagine there could be anything better out there and hard for me to find a good reason to leave this behind.  But again, I am trusting that if this is God's plan for our family, it must be a great one.  I should know by now that His plans are always far better than our own and that He is faithful to bless our obedience when we follow Him.

Believe it or not, I am starting to get excited about this new adventure and I am looking forward to seeing what this next chapter holds for the 3 Hughes.  I am brokenhearted but trying really hard to be optimistic and positive.  As Matthew said to me....."You can either choose to endure this next season of our lives or enjoy it."  It will be a conscious, everyday effort, but I am going to choose to enjoy it. 

I would ask that you pray for our family over the next few weeks as big decisions are made and changes begin.  I am overwhelmed and feeling very stressed due to the time constraints that we're under.  Please pray for easy transitions in every aspect from the selling of our home to the purchasing of our new home to the ease of making new friends and forming new relationships.  Especially pray for my sweet Kyndall.  I am so worried about how another big life event is going to affect her.  She's had so many changes and uncertainties over the past couple of years and my Mommy guilt has me fearing for the worst.  

God has been so faithful to our family to bring us to this point.  We are moving forward with grateful (but broken) hearts as we embark on this new adventure and waiting with great expectations as God opens new doors for us along the way. We covet your prayers as we transition to our new life in Dallas.