Lately....

I am sad to say I haven't done the best job of keeping up my blog this summer---or this year, really.  I have yet to even finish blogging the remainder of my transplant journey.  That's definitely next on the list, as it's so important to me to put all of those memories and pictures into my greatest material treasure, which is this blog.  Stay tuned for that!

We have just been so BUSY.  That's a good thing because it means we're all healthy, happy and feeling good.  With all we've had going on the past few months it has made the summer absolutely fly by.  I can't believe school starts here in two days!  Although most of Kyndall's friends are starting Kindergarten on Monday, she will have to wait another year due to her birthday.  She missed the cut off by about three weeks.  Secretly, I'm glad because it means one more precious year at home with my one and only baby.  She will start back to pre-school at our church in mid-August so we have a few more weeks before we have to get back into a routine.  I plan to pack in as much fun as possible between now and then!

Speaking of routine, let me just tell you what our lives will be like once things pick up for the fall.  My outgoing little socialite just could not choose between all of the activities offered for her age so this crazy Mama agreed to let her try them ALL.  She is currently signed up for three dance classes (ballet, tap and jazz/hip hop), piano lessons and cheerleading.  And, she *thinks* she wants to try gymnastics.  As much as I want her to find her passion in life and pursue it, I also have to remember that she's FOUR.  As a Mom I'm struggling with figuring out how to find a balance so that our lives aren't spent revolving around her every activity, but also giving her the opportunity and freedoms to find her niche.  I never want to hold her back from following her dreams but at the same time keeping our priorities in order.  On top of the things she has chosen to do, we also have other activities like our involvement with church happenings, my time spent volunteering with Donor Services in Nashville, and Matthew's hobbies and interests and work obligations.  The last thing I want to do is have our little family of 3 running in completely different directions all week long to the point we miss out on quality time together.  How do you find the balance?  Suggestions please!!

On top of the busy-ness that this summer has brought, it has also brought some big, tough decisions for our family.  Some of them haven't been made yet and some of them have.  It seems like lately lots of doors are opening for our family but it's up to us to discern whether or not it's our own desires opening them up or the Lord Himself.  My prayer has been that if these opportunities and decisions are not of His will, that He would slam that door shut for us, leaving no question of what we should do.  

One of those decisions was made just this past week and now that it's finalized, I can share it here.  Matthew was recently presented with an opportunity for a promotion within his company which would move our family to Nashville.  When he told me about this, my first reaction was one of great excitement!  We've lived in Jackson for 2.5 years and we've always said if Nashville ever opened up, we would be there in a heartbeat.  The main reason for this way of thinking was simple--We would be much closer to Vanderbilt and in turn there would be less travel and stress concerning my appointments, hospital admissions, etc.  When he called me to tell me about this opportunity he also said he only had a few days to make a decision on whether he wanted to pursue it.  I knew I had to start praying immediately!  

As excited as I was, I also had a slight check in my spirit.  I started thinking about our last move from Charleston to Jackson in 2013.  Even though we lived in Charleston for four years, when we made that move it was without hesitation.  There was no question as to whether or not we should go.  We had nothing tying us to Charleston, SC.  Kyndall was a toddler and I was a lonely, unfulfilled stay-at-home Mom who did not enjoy the Charleston lifestyle one bit.  Sure, I had a hand full of friends that I would miss, but I was happy to leave that season in our lives and begin a new adventure.  This time, however, I began thinking about how I would feel to leave Jackson.  We have a church we love, friends that we adore, a community that has shown us more love than we could've ever imagined, a comfortable lifestyle and the very first home we've ever owned.  There is a LOT tying us to Jackson and it would be very, very hard to leave this place.  Kyndall has friends that she loves, a school that is perfect for her and activities that she's excited about starting.  We have a good life here.  

This new move would provide Matthew with a very large increase in his salary and would put us just minutes from my transplant team and the hospital that I call home.  I would have much more flexibility with my volunteer time and my involvement with Vanderbilt and Tennessee Donor Services.  We would be slightly closer to our families, but still a good 7 or 8 hours away.  

It was a hard decision and time was ticking.  Being the visual person that I am I sat down and made a list.  An actual list.  I wrote out the pros and cons of moving to Nashville.  Even though the pro side was much smaller, those points were very big points.  The con side was much larger but in my mind I saw those points as small things.  I stewed over the list all day, and even got online and started looking at housing around the Nashville area.  I have always said that once Kyndall starts school, wherever we are is where we will be!!  I refuse to move her around once she's in school.  It's just not fair to her.  So, I couldn't help but notice the timing of this opportunity.  We have exactly (almost to the day) ONE YEAR before we are tied to wherever we choose to live.  If we were ever going to move, now is the time.  Making the move to Nashville now would give us a perfect window to get settled and find our way before she jumps into kindergarten next year.  

My mind was scrambled all day, going back and forth and trying to decide how I felt about this.  That night we had a get together with some of our church friends so I kind of put it out of my mind towards the end of the day.  I didn't even tell my parents about this and that's saying a lot since I usually consult my Mom on everything.  In fact, this is the first she's learning about this! (Hi, Mom!) 

As always, we had a precious time of fellowship with our friends and I was reminded of why we love Jackson so much.  It's not the town itself but those that are here.  Those who took us in and loved on us when we moved here in January of 2013, fresh off the heels of finding out I would need a life altering surgery.  Those who have been there for us in ways we could never repay, as we walked through two major events in our lives.  Those who have babysat our child on a moment's notice, taken care of our dogs when I was hospitalized, brought us meals, prayed over us, rejoiced with us, mourned with us and those who have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus.  I couldn't help but wonder if I would find that kind of love and acceptance anywhere else.  My biggest fear in this move is the fear of regret.  I don't want to be homesick for Jackson and wishing we had never left.  I don't want to regret leaving all of this behind and selling out for more money and the luxury of convenience.  

Matthew and I came home that night and after Kyndall went to bed we hashed out all of these thoughts and feelings.  It wasn't until then that our decision was confirmed.  As it turns out, we were both on the exact same page in our thoughts.  We had both come to our conclusion and as we shared it with one another, it was a unanimous, resounding NO.   We didn't even have to go back and forth arguing our "sides".  We both felt the exact same way and what a blessing that was!!  Neither of us felt that leaving behind the life that we love would be worth a few extra numbers on a salary or a few minutes closer to a hospital.  The truth is, we have everything we need an more.  Do we NEED more money?  No.  We both agreed that more money would not bring us any more happiness.  Do we NEED to be closer to Vanderbilt?  No.  We've made it work for two years and we've (hopefully) already overcome the most tricky part which was the transplant itself and temporarily living in Nashville.  I will forever be tied to Vanderbilt as their patient but that doesn't mean we can't make it work just like we've been doing all this time.  Yes, I would love to be closer in order to pursue my passions with organ donation and volunteer opportunities but that does not trump everything else that's important to our family.  

So, in about 5 minutes it was settled.  We would not be leaving Jackson.  Thank you Lord for your clear guidance, brought to us by way of a night spent with sweet friends.  It was just the reminder that we needed in order to keep our priorities in order.  Our second confirmation came in the form of mine and Matthew's unanimous agreement.  This was BIG decision and the fact that our hearts were in the same place just confirms that this was not the Lord's will for us.  Not right now, anyway.

We have some other decisions to make and I hope those answers will be as clear as this one was to both of us.  On a very personal note, one of those big decisions is whether or not to expand our family.  Yikes, I said it.  There is nothing in this world that I want more than to have another baby.  I would give anything if it was as easy as it sounds.  There are many things to consider and once again, time is ticking.  Any prayers would be much appreciated.

On a lighter note, I'm excited about the next few weeks and months!  My BFF Glory is coming back to Jackson next week to visit and I am over the moon excited to see her and have her in my home!  At the end of the month my Mom and possibly my Grandmother will be coming up for a visit.  (Hey, Grandma!)  I'm having a medical procedure done so my Mom is coming up to help with that.  Then it will be time to celebrate Grace the liver's FIRST birthday!!!  September 16th will mark an entire year since my transplant.  I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon that day and I think it will be fun to be back at Vanderbilt seeing my team on Grace's actual birthday.  Four days after Grace's birthday will be Kyndall's FIFTH birthday!  We are already in party planning mode with a Minion themed skating party.  I'm not crazy about those little Minions but I'm having fun coming up with creative ideas to match the theme.  By the time all that is over with we will be rolling into Fall, which is my FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE time of year!!!  It simply can't get here fast enough!  Then it will be time for Halloween and Thanksgiving and Disney Vacation and and and....!!!  As you can see, we have much to look forward to and much to be thankful for.

I can't post an update without at least one picture to share.  I have lots but this is a favorite as of lately.  Makes me smile every time I see it!

This is what a good Daddy looks like!