Blessings.....

This post is long overdue, but in all honesty I've spent the last couple of weeks just trying to gather my thoughts in hopes of somehow translating them into words that might accurately depict everything I am feeling right now.  In the days following my post entitled I'M WORN, I was completely and utterly OVERWHELMED by the outpouring of love, support, encouragement and prayers I received.  I have never in my life felt so loved and cared for, yet so undeserving of it all.  I spent literally days reading through e-mails, texts, Facebook messages and blog comments.  Somehow, in just a matter of hours my little ole blog went viral on the internet and before I knew it, my post had circulated all over the WORLD.  Typically, my blog posts get an average of about 300 hits.  In less than 48 hours, that post had received well over 2,000 hits and more than 50 comments!  (I'm lucky if I get two or three comments, typically!)  As of today, I'm up to almost 4,000 hits.  CRAZY.  I received more than 20 e-mails, 50 Facebook messages, many texts and phone calls and surprisingly about 25 new friend requests on Facebook from perfect strangers who had stumbled upon my blog somehow and just wanted to be a part of my journey.  Whoa.  If you know me at all, you know that my perfectionist, Type A personality would not allow me to let any of these correspondences go unnoticed so slowly but surely I replied to EVERY..... SINGLE...... ONE of them.  Though it would've been easier to just send out a mass "thank you" to everyone, I wanted each person to know specifically how much their support meant to me.  I figured if they took the time to write it, I could certainly find the time to respond.  It took me several days to sort through all of the messages and contacts but eventually I was able to show my gratitude to each person individually. 

All of this support that I received was just confirmation that I made the right choice in sharing my story with the world.  I had been sitting on my "secret" for four months and though I was more than ready to put it out there, I still had second thoughts even after I published the post.  What would people think of me?  Would they judge me?  Would they talk about me behind my back?  All of these thoughts were just Satan's way of putting doubt in my mind and trying to convince me to carry this heavy burden on my own.  But the Lord showed favor on me by flooding my mind and my heart with words of encouragement and love and understanding and compassion.  Though the words and messages were simple, they were exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time.  Many of you shared stories of hope with me of others whom you know that have already walked this road and are living life to the fullest on the other side of surgery.  There were even several people who shared that they themselves have gone through this very same procedure and are willing to serve as a sounding board for all of my questions, concerns and fears.  What a comfort it is when I'm reminded that I'm not the first one to ever go through this.  Even more, knowing that I now have a network of friends (some new and some old) who will be cheering me on and offering practical advice from their own experiences with this surgery.  It's amazing to sit back and realize how the Lord has placed specific people in my life for such a time as this.  What a blessing I would've missed out on, had I chosen to carry this burden all alone.  I'm so thankful that the Lord placed it on my heart to share my story and in turn He blessed me beyond anything I could've imagined.  

In keeping with what I've just said, I want to share just a few of the MANY touching messages that I received from friends, family and strangers alike.  I was so humbled by each of them and so thankful to realize that Christ is using me for HIS glory through all of this.  It's important for me to remember that nothing I say or do is worthy of this type of praise, but it's through His spirit dwelling in me that HE may be glorified.  I am merely a vessel, an instrument to be used by HIM. 

"I have prayed for God to send me words of wisdom to you. Guess I am not gifted in that area. I just want you to know that you are a strong, precious child of the King. He will not forsake you. I know you know this. I want you to know, too, that you are a blessing and witness to many - probably thousands - as you share your heart and life with people."

"I can't recall if we ever met while in high school. Regardless, we have several mutual Tallahassee friends, many of whom posted a link to your blog today. I hope you don't mind, but I read what you wrote.

I just wanted to let you know that you, your family, and your doctors will be in my prayers daily. Your trust in God, and your honesty about your fears and doubts, will serve as an inspiration to many. Praying for the best." 

This one is by far my favorite.  It was sent to me by a sweet, sweet friend from high school.  I've said from the beginning that if even ONE person comes to know the Lord through my testimony, then it will all be worth it to me.  Reading her words in the last two sentences brought tears to my eyes as I realized that I have in fact found my purpose in all of this. 

" I've been marinating on your most recent blog post, trying to think of the very best way to express how much it has touched my soul. Although this blog post was particularly touching, I want you to know that I read most, if not all of your blogs. The reason I look forward to reading your posts is simple: I know I will always come away feeling uplifted and inspired. I love that you find joy in even the smallest things (coke icees!). You've inspired me, even before this most recent health post, to be more positive and to be joyful! Because of you, Ashleigh-Anne, I'm rediscovering my relationship with God. One that has been dormant for more than ten years. THANK YOU."

Another blessing came in the form of a song, written by a precious friend of mine who I've watched grow into a beautiful woman of God.  I am so proud of her and all that she stands for.  God has blessed her with an amazing gift for music and she is constantly using it for His glory.  This was the first time anyone has ever written a song for me and I am honored and humbled by the words that so beautifully flowed from her heart.  Thank you, Morgan!!

Click on the link below and *hopefully* it will take you to Facebook where you can view the video of  Morgan singing the song

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4524090621062&set=vb.1254760069&type=3&theater

Though I have not been blessed with the gift of writing, one of my sweet cousins has been and like Morgan, she shared her God given talent with me in the form of a poem.  I plan to have it printed and framed so that I can hang it in our home and let it serve as a reminder of God's goodness in my life.

When I first gave my life to You

I was just a child, but somehow knew

The call to follow, to obey

Would be more than just the words I would say

For if trials of life should come to my door

What would I do then? How could I be sure?
More than choices, right from wrong

“It Is Well” how goes the song

Would they leave me bitter? Leave me worn?

Leave me hanging tattered and torn?

But He went before me, the Perfect One

Perfection in human form; Your Only Son

He tarried through trials far greater than this

Though when death came, even He asked, “Why this?”

“My God, You have forsaken me!” I cry, but not aloud

Yet You are not angry with me; You are not proud

You still cradle me in the palm of Your hand

And through tear-filled quiet I begin to understand

All my days were ordained before even one came to be

You know every thought, every breath that I breathe

You will work this trial into Your masterful plan

All things for my good, like only You can

And though I cannot see the end right now

I trust that You will bring me through somehow

I am learning to lean more fully on You

To fully surrender…to become something new

To one day thank You for this very despair

For You help us to carry each load that we bear

So until that day when Your plan is revealed

I will live in the love of Your promise fulfilled

I will rest in Your goodness and fall in Your grace

Until that glorious day when we meet face to face

Another one of my sweet friends in Tallahassee teamed up with several others and has created a website for our family in which people can sign up to provide meals and other necessities during our time of need following my surgery.  I told her that  it's very hard for me to sit back and allow people to serve me in this way, but she assured me that I would be robbing them of THEIR joy if I did not allow them to do this for me.  As it turns out, I'm not very good at accepting such random acts of kindness.  I think I'm a much better "giver" than I am a "receiver".  Many of you have inquired about meals and the like, so I'm including this link strictly for those of you who have already asked.  Please do not see this as me begging or making you feel obligated in ANY way to participate.  This just seems to be the easiest way to distribute the link to the masses.  Thank you to Laura and Melanie for putting this together and stepping up where you saw a need!  You have blessed me so much already, just in your willingness to coordinate this website.

 www.takethemameal.com

Name: Hughes

Password: Kyndall

Just this week yet ANOTHER sweet, sweet friend from my home church in Tallahassee (Morningside Baptist), contacted my family about offering up her beach condo for us as a way to escape for as long as we needed, leading up to my surgery.  This particular lady is so dear to me and is by far one of the most selfless and giving women of God I've ever met in my life.  The Lord has blessed her greatly and she has given it back ten fold!  I can't think of a better way to clear my mind and spend some precious time with my family than to spend several days on the beautiful Gulf in Florida.  It will be exactly what we need in the weeks leading up to the surgery and we are already counting the days until we leave!  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!  You know who you are and you know how much we love you!  This is a priceless gift that will serve to provide our family with some precious memories that we will cherish always!

This one may be kind of far fetched, but hey....you just never know!  Someone recently encouraged me to submit my story to the Ellen show, in hopes of getting tickets to be in the audience.  As much as I love her show, this would be nothing short of life changing for me and I would be a happy, happy girl!  Though I don't agree with or support Ellen's lifestyle, I truly feel that she is one of the most generous, selfless, giving individuals who ever lived.  I watch her show every single day and I always come away so refreshed and encouraged by her gracious spirit.  Not to mention, she makes me laugh.....a LOT!  Goodness knows that's something I need to do as often as possible these days!  You just can't help but feel GOOD after watching one of her shows.  So, who knows.....maybe she'll even read this herself and invite me to be in her audience someday!  =)  

Others have blessed us in providing care for our sweet baby girl when Matthew and I were unable to juggle our schedules to accommodate my doctors' appointments and his work schedule.  Twice now my sweet, precious new friend Glory has stepped up and helped us with Kyndall while I was in Nashville for appointments.  She happens to be one of Kyndall's teachers at the pre-school, but she has become so much more than that to me.  She is now a lifelong friend.  I call her an angel, and I think her name (Glory) is just so fitting.  She truly does bring GLORY to the Lord with her willingness to serve wherever the need arises.  I hope to return the favor for her in some small way.  There is nothing like having the peace of mind knowing that your child is being well taken care of and loved in your absence.  You just can't put a price on that!

In the same way, our friends Jeremy and Pam (and their 5 kids!) have also graciously and willingly helped us with Kyndall as well----Without even being asked!  Kyndall has never spent the night with anyone but the Grandparents until just recently when she stayed with the Woods family.  Not once, but TWICE!  Two times Jeremy and Pam have kept her for an entire weekend for us!  This past weekend it was so that Matthew and I could enjoy a relaxing and fun weekend in Nashville to celebrate our anniversary.  A few weeks prior to that, it was just because!  They love her and spoil her as well (or better!) than we do and she has an absolute blast with their family and their small army of kids!  =)  Again, there is no price on the peace of mind that I have knowing that she's having fun and being well taken care of.  

 It's because of the things that I have just mentioned that I know without a doubt the Lord placed us in Jackson, Tennessee for a purpose.  He placed true living, breathing angels in our paths that He knew would be there for us in our time of need.  He placed us in a wonderful church where our network of friends would grow and spread like wildfire and where we could be loved on, prayed for and taken care of in every way possible.  There have been many, many other offers to help with anything and everything you can imagine----From house cleaning to grocery shopping to cooking to yard work and everything in between!  I've even had several people from Tallahassee and other distant places offer to come up and be of help during my recovery.  I could go on and on and on......but I think you get the point.  We are BLESSED!!!!!

Along with all of the offers to help have come sweet, sweet blessings in the form of cards, gifts and mail.  If you know me very well, you know that getting "real" mail is often the highlight of my week!  There's just something about getting a "real" piece of mail that makes my heart smile.  (As long as it's not a bill of course!  And believe me we get PLENTY of those these days! Uggh!)  I have quite a growing collection of cards and notes which I am holding onto and re-reading over and over again.  If I had more space, I would plaster each and every one of them on my walls so that they could serve as a visible reminder of God's goodness in the form of encouraging words from wonderful friends.  Instead, I have created a keepsake box where I plan to carefully preserve each one of them.  I hope that 10, 20, 30 years down the road I can look back on the cards and notes and remember this time in my life and be reminded of how very blessed I felt during what should have been some of my darkest days.  Thank you to each of you who have taken the time to send me a note of encouragement, offering your love, support and prayers.  As you can see, I don't take it lightly---I truly appreciate it!!

My collection has grown even since this picture was taken this past week.......

A couple of weeks ago I heard a knock on the door and was pleasantly surprised to find this waiting for me............

A yummy and thoughtful gift from Matthew's cousin Sarah and her precious family

This prayer blanket came from a group of prayer warriors in North Carolina whom I've never even met

My cousin Julie gave me a gift that I could never put a price on.  She made a donation to the CCFA (an organization very dear to my heart!) in my honor.  There is no cure for Crohn's but with generous donations from people like Julie, I feel sure that someday there will be!  I hope I live to see the day when Crohn's is a thing of the past!

More gifts from friends and strangers alike..........

This past Thursday was a cloudy, rainy day here in West Tennessee.  However, we were delivered our very own box of SUNSHINE, thanks to the thoughtfulness and creativity of my friend Susan McNally and her own friend Nancy.  Mrs. McNally and her family lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in and I have very fond memories of babysitting her daughter and dog sitting for sweet Bob, their yellow lab.  Mrs. McNally was also a teacher at my high school and I served as her teacher's assistant my junior year.  Shortly after, her family moved to Fort Myers, FL and we sort of lost contact for a while.  Well doesn't the Lord work in mysterious ways.......??  A few years after they moved, I started dating Matthew who also lived in Fort Myers!  We even lived there the first three months that we were married.  Mrs. McNally was in my life again, but only for a short while until Matthew's job moved us to Charleston, SC.  Nevertheless, she has always been special to me and now more than ever I feel like the Lord placed her in my life for such a time as this.  Though I had no idea that I would need her love and support many years down the road, God placed her in my life as a young child knowing that someday she would serve as a source of encouragement to me during a difficult time.  Now is that time.

So back to the "sunshine"......Kyndall spotted the box on our front porch as we were pulling in from pre-school on Thursday afternoon.  I darted out in the rain and grabbed it and we anxiously brought it inside and opened it together.  When I opened the box, I immediately felt cheerful, as everything inside was a beautiful shade of bright YELLOW!  The card read "sending you some sunshine", which couldn't have been any more appropriate given the gloomy day we were having!  It was signed by Mrs. McNally and her friend Nancy.  I have never met Nancy and probably never will, but she apparently felt led to bless me as well.  Together, they gathered everything they could find that was bright, cheery and HAPPY and placed it in a beautiful basket for me.  Mrs. McNally even remembered that my childhood bedroom was decorated in sunflowers and recalled how much I love them.  I was so touched by their thoughtfulness and it was quite obvious that they had put a lot of time, creativity and LOVE into every aspect of my "basket of sunshine"!

One of the most touching parts of the gift came in the form of little treats for Kyndall.  Mrs. McNally obviously has a gift for details because she remembered all of the things Kyndall loves most and gathered them up and put them in the basket for her to enjoy as well.  That meant more to me than anything, just knowing that others are remembering my sweet girl during all of this.  One of my biggest fears has been that she'll feel left out or overlooked as things start to get crazy around here.  Knowing that others are recognizing her needs as well as mine means the world to me!

At first, she was just happy to play with the bubble wrap----who wouldn't be?? This stuff is addicting and it was her first experience with it!  Cheap entertainment!

This thing's eyes pop out of its head when you squeeze it---She thought that was super hilarious!

Everyone knows she loves her some "dough"

She looked through this and said "I see lotsa Mommies"

We all know she's CRAZY over trucks!

We had so much fun going through all of the goodies---THANK YOU!!!  Kyndall even insisted on sleeping with several of her new toys that night, including the bubble wrap.  Don't freak out too much, I cut a SMALL piece of it for her to hold onto.  The next morning I woke to the sound of "popping" and giggling in the baby monitor.  It took me a few minutes to realize what it was!  =)

This next gift was very special as well.  When I was in 3rd grade at Buck Lake Elementary School in Tallahassee, I had the most wonderful teacher any child or parent could ever ask for!  Mrs. Duke went beyond the call of duty when it came to teaching.  She used her gift of music and singing to teach us and challenge us in ways that I STILL remember to this day!  I actually learned to memorize my multiplication tables to the tune of one of her creative jingles!  Truly, she was the epitome of an amazing teacher.  She made an impact on my life that I will never forget.  Even after 20 years, I can still recall her sweet spirit and her love for her students.  Through the "magic" of Facebook, she recently contacted me and asked for my address.  I didn't know why, but boy did she have a neat surprise up her sleeve!

To this day, she is still teaching---In fact, this is her last year as she'll be retiring at the end of this school year.  Apparently, she shared my story with her sweet elementary aged students and asked them to make cards for me.  Each card was beautifully decorated, most of them with depictions of flowers, rainbows and happy things.  Inside they each wrote sweet notes of encouragement to me, and many of them even offered me words of advice.  Some made me laugh, some made me cry......but they ALL touched me in ways I can't even describe.  I was reminded, as I sat and read through each and every one of them, of what it means to have a "child-like faith".  These children can't possibly grasp the gravity of what I'm facing, yet it was obvious that each of them truly felt that everything was going to be ok for me and my family.  The Bible tells us to have this same kind of innocent, "child-like" faith, where we don't question the things unseen.....we just believe!

The Lord (once again) knew what He was doing when he placed me so carefully into Mrs. Duke's 3rd grade class at Buck Lake Elementary School.  He knew that many years down the road she too would serve as a source of encouragement and support for me as I faced the greatest challenge of my life.  Even back then, He was ordering my footsteps ever so carefully, placing people all along the way who would unknowingly bless me in ways beyond my imagination.  I would also like to add that it was in Mrs. Duke's 3rd grade class that I first met my life long BFF, Betsy.  Betsy has also served as a source of encouragement for me, not only during this time but every single day since we met back in 3rd grade.  But that's a whole other post!  =)  My point is, I can't help but be comforted and uplifted as I realize that this is all part of God's plan.  He's been placing people in my life all along whom He knew I would need during this time.  His hand is all over this---I hope you can see it too!

Look at this beautiful pile of cards I received from Mrs. Duke's students!  I read each and every one of them......

Several of the cards stood out to me for one reason or another and if you'd allow me just a little more of your time, I'd like to share these particular cards with you.  Their sentiments are especially touching and I think you'll see why!  Some are just outright hilarious and others touched me deeply.  Take a look...........

"......I also heard you have a pretty daughter and a handsome husband....."  (Apparently Mrs. Duke shared more than just my health issues! LOL!)

I agree with Mrs. Duke's note at the bottom----SO sweet!!

"The doctors will take care of you.  My advice is to listen to the doctors."  (Good advice, John.....very good advice!)

"I will miss you" (Where do you think I'm going Gianna?!)

"One piece of advice I'd give you is never settle for less than your best!  I can count on you, you can do it!  Never give up!"  (Awwwwww!!!!  My own personal cheerleader!)

"My advice is to get some sleep"  (I'll do that, Zachary!!!  Haha!)

"One piece of advice I'd give you is that if your baby girl still wears diapers don't get a lot because they are expensive."  (Wise beyond your years, Kiara!!!  You are SO right about that!)

"One piece of advice I'd give you is don't stress out"  (Oh, how I wish it was just that easy!!)

"One piece of advice I have is to be nice to others and they'll be nice to you."  (From the mouths of babes!)

"One piece of advice is to stay calm and relax.  Also think about happy things.  That always cheers me up."  (.....Tears....!  Thank you, sweet Emma!  I will definitely do that!)

And by far, my favorite!!!!!!
Mrs. Duke's note at the bottom made me laugh and cry all at the same time!

What a JOY it was to read through all of these sweet notes and look at the beautiful creations that they so lovingly made for me.  THANK YOU, Mrs. Duke for making me laugh, cry and feel encouraged through the words of your students!

I am only sharing all of these things with you to show you just how much the Lord has blessed my heart with the outpouring of love, support and encouragement from friends, family and even strangers.  It's such confirmation to me that sharing my burdens and being completely transparent with my struggles was the right decision.  I just can't imagine how lonely I would feel right now without all of this support and love.  Please don't mistake me sharing all of this with you as some kind of bragging or flaunting.  I simply want to give you a small glimpse into my life over the past few weeks and let each and every one of you know how much I appreciate all that you've already done for me and my family!  And also, to possibly restore your faith in humanity and show that there ARE still GOOD people in this world---Some VERY good ones, in fact!  In light of all the recent tragedies in our world, I hope this display of love and selflessness that has been bestowed upon me will give you hope that the Lord still reigns and His people are still being the hands and feet of Christ, just as the Bible tells them to be. 

I came across this scripture a few days ago and I think it sums up what I'm trying to say just perfectly.......

"When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others. In your lives you must think and act like Christ Jesus." (Philippians 2:3-5 NCV)

Lastly, my own little family has been such a blessing to me over the last few weeks.  Kyndall, though way too young to understand what's going on, seems to have taken a turn for the sweeter side.  She's always been sweet, but lately she is becoming more affectionate and is CONSTANTLY telling me "Love you, Mommy" out of the blue and completely unprompted.  She often looks up at me during random moments and says "Happy, Mommy?"  It's as if she senses that I need all of the extra love, hugs and affection that I can get from her.  Her little mind and heart are in no way able to comprehend how our world is about to change, but nonetheless she has been an extra special blessing to me without even realizing it lately.

My greatest blessing......

In case you haven't noticed, the common theme throughout this entire (long-winded!) blog post is BLESSINGS.  With that in mind, I can't help but think of this song, which has come to mean so much to me lately.  Listen to the words......They are so true!

Thank you for your continued prayers and support----It means more than you will EVER know!!!